Friday, March 24, 2006

Life now..........

Once more I am writing after such a loooong gap...thought I would never have the pain that I had started to love. Thought never ever I will feel the loneliness which kept my pen going on and on. Thought never again I would write about hearts content as I have already got someone who will understand what lies beneath before I have to actually say it.


Things change but one thing remains constant my love towards pain. That’s why my destiny will pull me towards something which will b painful and odd.

I am missing you too much. Every night and every day its like a sitting on a pin cushion. I don’t know whether the simili is correct or not. But that’s what the case is here. And when you feel that the same fire is not present on the other side over the seas, the pain increases like never before. I do not know when I reach the UK things might become brighter. But I hardly fore see that. I do not know I am jealous that someone can talk to my girl which actually is good as she can always get a person to speak in Bengali. But I am helplessly feeling jealous. Don’t know whether I am right or wrong in this. But that’s what I am feeling right now.

I wonder why I am not the slightest excited about going to UK. For the first time in my life I am moving out abroad and I can’t feel anything in my bloodstreams making me excited. Probably I need some kick to get up from this awful low week. Next week my parents are coming so expecting a better time ahead. Who knows………..

All the loneliness is my companion right now. All the worries of losing her. Don’t know why………But my heart says I am losing her. Oh god please help me……I talk to her twice a day. I keep on sending her mails. Still nothing happens the gloomy loneliness persists. The life becomes dark to darker.,…….